Today I had my liver clinic appointment. This happens every few months to check on my health, diet, moods and basically my physical and mental status. As we were ready to wrap things up I confided that I have been a bit overwhelmed with all that has happened in the last month or so. I suddenly found myself choking back tears and realized just how much of an emotional roller coaster I have been on. As we talked, tears started to fall. I had no idea how much I have been holding in. I was reminded that it has almost been 4 years since this began. The fact that I was still holding it together and still working was by their standards pretty amazing and the transplant team recognized this. They ask me this question at every clinic, "Are you still working?" I tell them yes and they always give me a wow. "That's great."
I left clinic feeling a bit spent. I was somewhat moved by the experience I had just had and I realized how easy it is to ignore some of the things in life when maybe we should be embracing them. I think I have a lot to work through, but I am grateful that I recognize it.
Sleep well, everybody.
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(Hugs) You have been amazingly strong in this whole ordeal. I would truly be surprised if it didn't make you feel vulnerable from time to time. Sometimes it helps to keep going by just releasing the stress and worry in such a way. You continue to be in my prayers on the smoke sweet friend. (Hugs)Indigo
ReplyDeleteI deeply admire your grittiness and courage.
ReplyDeleteGrittiness, courage and a sense of sarcastic humor. You have been super man for four years in my book. Blessings to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing human being. I am so blessed to know you! I hold you in my prayers always. I am so grateful that there is no cancer on top of everything else.
ReplyDeleteThis day sounds much like mine today. On the way to my doctor appointment I found myself all of a sudden crying. Sometimes it just feels like too much dealing with the disease, the doctors, the paper pushers, ...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I've found your blog.
thinking of you....and always praying for strength for healing for ease to come into your precious life.
ReplyDeleteBeen thinking about you a lot lately and hoping things are OK. It takes a great deal of courage to survive the challenges you face, and you've persevered throughout. You're in my prayers.
ReplyDelete