Today I had my liver clinic appointment. This happens every few months to check on my health, diet, moods and basically my physical and mental status. As we were ready to wrap things up I confided that I have been a bit overwhelmed with all that has happened in the last month or so. I suddenly found myself choking back tears and realized just how much of an emotional roller coaster I have been on. As we talked, tears started to fall. I had no idea how much I have been holding in. I was reminded that it has almost been 4 years since this began. The fact that I was still holding it together and still working was by their standards pretty amazing and the transplant team recognized this. They ask me this question at every clinic, "Are you still working?" I tell them yes and they always give me a wow. "That's great."
I left clinic feeling a bit spent. I was somewhat moved by the experience I had just had and I realized how easy it is to ignore some of the things in life when maybe we should be embracing them. I think I have a lot to work through, but I am grateful that I recognize it.
Sleep well, everybody.