A new day

   I hope everyone had a great holiday. We are all doing well and spent the holiday visiting family and friends. I figured I should probably update now that it's a new year and all.

   I have been doing okay. I am still getting headaches. The transplant team say it is the anti-rejection drugs. But that doesn't really explain the noises I've been hearing in my head. Nobody seems to have any idea what that's all about. I finally saw my G.P. and he sent me to get an MRI on Monday. I should know more come Thursday or Friday. Unfortunately, I went in with a massive sinus infection so I hope that doesn't screw up any results when they look things over.

   This morning Lois took me to a podiatrist to have a needle jammed into my middle toe. That happened. I have had a swollen middle toe for the last month or so and apparently I have been supporting my weight on that one toe because it has curled sideways. This is because of arthritis and a short tendon. The needle is supposed to release the tendon and make it go flat, rather than hold in the position it has been held in for so long. The needle didn't hurt at all, but the needle that delivered the numbing medication hurt like an S.O.B. I have to keep it taped for a week and then it should be fine. I hope so anyway. We would like to avoid any kind of surgery.

   It has almost been a year now since my transplant. I'm still shy by a couple of months, but it is still hard to believe. I wake each day mindful of how hard it used to be to get out of bed in the mornings. I see pictures of myself and I can't believe how awful I looked. My body was so colorless and I was swollen and puffy and pretty much a wreck. I still have a hard time thinking about all that transpired. The other day I was at work and I kept remembering a particular day when I had slipped into my delirium and was just lost. I had no clue what I was doing, but I was trying my hardest to perform my job. I called Lois to come help me and I forgot a whole day. I had a couple of those days but I always managed to come back. The encephalopathy was so tremendous at times I wondered why I was still even working. It is amazing that I was able to hold out until the day that I got the call. I don't think I could have held on much longer.

   Lois and I both know people who have lost their loved ones while waiting on the list. It is sad to think about. To know what a fine line that is to live on. It is hard to grasp the knowledge of how we take so much in life for granted. To think of illness in general and all that can come from it. To think of how so many lives can be affected. I will forever be a changed man because of this. And I will always feel indebted to my donor in only a way that I can personally understand.

   I thank all of you for being with me during this part of my life and helping me through what is probably one of the most difficult times of my life. My best wishes to each and every one of you and may you all have a beautiful new year.

   For all times and seasons, Beaux.