Wednesday, December 9, 2009

In a Nutshell

Lately I've been feeling sore. I never know when the pain will come. Sometimes I have bouts of it. Sometimes it is like jolts of electricity shooting through my body. It may be in my back or in my stomach. It may travel through my shoulders or my legs. They are usually brief, like they are subtle reminders of what comes next, screaming this is that. Sometimes there is no pain. Sometimes it is just an unrelenting tiredness that has no boundary. I must just sleep. Sometimes it is a persistent nauseating feeling in my stomach.
My muscle mass is slowly wasting. That means my strength is leaving. I am going to have to work on this. If I can do anything for myself right now then this is it. I need more exercise.
I haven't been writing very much because I keep losing my train of thought. I don't think it's terribly bad, but it is certainly more difficult. Sometimes I will be talking to Lois and I'll lose the words. I have to stop and think about what it is I'm saying. She'll ask me repeatedly what it is I'm trying to say and then I will get frustrated and tell her to hang on a second. This is a big worry for me. I don't want to lose my mental faculties.
My psoriasis has returned. I was hoping that I'd have my transplant before this happened. I'm not sure what to do about this new development because it takes a lot of time to treat it and it is uncomfortable. I was actually thinking about asking my doctor about trying the interferon treatment again to see if we could fight the HCV. I figured that if I was going to be miserable for the next few months then maybe I could give it a shot and see what happens. But the interferon has a nasty way of making the psoriasis flare up so maybe that won't work right now.
I realize that this post probably sounds kind of depressing. I think I'm a bit overwhelmed these days. Up until recently I've tried to keep my head on straight. And in all honesty I think I've been doing a pretty good job of it.
I hope to be feeling better by the next time I post again.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. That sounds ghastly. Once a decade ago, I got a weird hospital obtained viral pneumonia that they ended up treating with interferon as a last resort. After taking it intravenously I remember feeling like my body was literally on fire. Although I felt dreadful for a couple of days it did kill my virus.

    Sending you good wishes for the possibility of a transplant soon.

  3. Interferon can be very nasty. I had to take injections for a full year when I did it last time and it made me feel miserable the first month or so. I didn't have a lot of problems with it after that. I hated the shots. Lois would always give them to me and she did a pretty good job at it. The first couple months were like you say. My body was on fire and I bounced back between cold and hot flashes and there were a lot of night sweats. Ugh.

  4. I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling bad. I haven't posted in FOREVER. I just finished my last two finals today and have not been able to scratch up any time for blogging. Hopefully I get around to it on break.

    Oh- we are having really heavy winds here, and today when I got up there was a HUGE rainbow over my neighbor's house. It reminded me of you, Lois and your girls! I love that header pic you use sometimes. I didn't get a picture of it though. :(

  5. I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling worse; You're constantly in my prayers. And I don't know anyone who's dealt with something like this with as much grace as you have.

    * hugs *